


I Failed & Lost This Fight

by taintednephilim



Series: SongFics [1]
Category: Bandom, Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys (Album)
Genre: Character Death, Cussing, Sad, Suicide, UGH I am so sorry, very sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 16:38:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6247549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taintednephilim/pseuds/taintednephilim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After watching Grace Jeanette's cover for 'The Light Behind Your Eyes,' I decided to write a songfic based off of it. It's told through Gracie's POV.<br/>::JUST A SLIGHT TRIGGER WARNING FOR THE END:: There is suicide at the end so please be careful while reading, and please remember this is purely a work of fiction, nothing in here is actually true.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“POISON!!!!” I sobbed, my heart pounding violently against my chest. I woke up from a night terror, afraid that what happened would come true. I was ten at the time. My mother was dead after the start of the helium wars and I was ‘adopted’ by the fabulous four. You may have heard of them, Jet Star, Fun Ghoul, Kobra Kid, and Party Poison. But that’s another story for another time.

“Gracie? Are You Okay?” I heard Poison’s voice and I felt his arms around me. He started rocking us gently back and forth, humming quietly. I hugged him close to me, crying softly. “D-Don’t die, Poison. Please?” I whispered to him. And that was the first time I heard the song. That song was the special bond between him and I. he used it to calm me down. And I helped him name it. ‘The Light Behind Your Eyes’ is what we called it. I smiled every time he sang it to me but Poison never had to sing the whole thing to me. Not until that one day.

-x-

It was about a year and a half after the first time I heard the song. We were out to go get supplies when we got chased by Dracs. Me not being in the Trans Am caused me to almost die as I was beaten to a bloody pulp by some of the dracs’ minions. Kobra found me and called out for help.

“GHOUL!!! POISON!!!!” I heard as I fell in and out of consciousness, my cheek, eye and chest throbbing. I felt arms around me and I heard Poison’s delicate voice whisper that I’d be okay before he started singing to me. “ _Sometimes we must grow stronger and you can be stronger when I’m gone. When I’m here no longer you must be stronger._ ” I heard his voice crack at the end before I fell into a hole of darkness and silence.

-x-

A year later was when the next chain of events happened that put Poison in my position. I seemed to be the one comforting him. But honestly I had no problem with it because he was like a brother to me. I would do anything I had to in order for him and the others to be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

We needed supplies again so I decided that I would go. Kobra and Jet are dead. They got ghosted by fucking Dracs almost three years ago, and Poison hasn’t been the same. No longer does he sing to me. I sing to him occasionally. Otherwise there is no longer any music played here. And of course, Poison being the stubborn brat he was, wanted me to bring him along. So I just shrugged and knew that it would be no use to fight. He grabbed his gun, put it in the holster. He handed me mine and I put it into my holster after making sure it was clean. We walked outside, and Poison tossed me the keys. I smiled softly and got into the driver side. H opened his door and got in but immediately looked out the window. Not talking the whole time.

“Alright Poison. That’s it. Talk to me God Dammit. I am tired of you just sulking around all day.” I nearly shouted after pulling the car over and slamming the brakes, tears streaming down my face like waterfalls. “I want to know what happened to you. Please? It’s killing Ghoul and I so much to see you like this. Please Gerard. I want to help you.” He glared at me when I said his real name.

“First of all, Gracie. There’s nothing you can do to bring my brother back, is there? So there’s nothing you can do to help me. And second. Don’t Ever Call Me Gerard Again.” With that he got out and stormed off, I put the car in park and turned it off, grabbing the keys and my gun. I slammed my hand into the steering wheel shouting each time I hit it. “DAMMIT-” Slam- “DAMMIT-” Slam- “DAMMit!!” I sobbed before opening up the door to get up.

“KID WATCH YOUR BACK!!” I heard Poison scream, and I pulled out my gun and ducked, just as a laser whizzed past my hair. The end got singed and I growled. “Fuck I just did this.” I hissed when I heard footsteps next to me. I quickly turned around and held up my gun but I saw the bright red hair and took a deep breath.

“Poison you’re oka--” I was cut off by him pushing me down to avoid getting hit. But he took the shot for me. And with that he was screaming in pain as he bled out, the red staining his shirt. “POISON!!! NO!!!” I crawled up to him and shook him, my eyes wide. “Poison. C’mon don’t ghost out on me now. Please.” I whimpered, hugging him close to me. He looked up at me, smiling, and I pressed my hand over the wound. It was an actual bullet, not a laser beam. I could feel the cold metal. Someone fucking shot Poison with and actual gun not a laser gun. “Dammit Party Poison. Don’t leave me. Don’t leave Ghoul. Pl-Please. We Need You God Dammit.” I sobbed into his shoulder. I heard him mutter something to me. I looked at him and he still had a smile on his face but it was softer. He caressed my face gently and whispered hoarsely. “S-Sing, Gracie. One last time. Sing _Light_. P-Please.” He stopped talking and coughed, letting up blood. I shook my head, tears rolling down my face. “This won’t be the last time but okay.” I started singing softly at first, hugging him close to me, his head on my shoulder. Once I finished singing, he was gone. Poison was dead. His eyes were glazed over but he died with a smile on his face.

“Dammit Poison. Don’t fucking leave me you asshole. I fucking need you. Ghoul needs you. FUCKING DAMMIT!!” I sobbed, screaming myself hoarse while hugging Gee’s corpse. I sobbed until I pretty much felt like I couldn’t cry anymore. I then picked myself up and hoisted up Poison’s body. I drove us to the beach that we always hung out at. And I started digging a hole. Halfway through I gave up and fell to my knees, sobbing.

“Fuck Gracie. No more crying.” I whispered and looked at the hole then at the ocean. _Gerard would have wanted that. He would have wanted to be in the ocean after he died._ I thought, smiling a bit. I threw the shovel aside and ran over to the car, grabbed Gerard and walked over, carrying him to the water. “I am so sorry, Gee. I wish I could have saved you. I love you so much.” I whispered, hugging him tightly before walking over to the cold water of the ocean. I walked in till I was waist deep and laid him down gently. “Killjoys never die. Be safe where ever you go Gerard Arthur Way.” I sighed before letting him go. Walking up to the Trans Am I freaked out because I didn’t know what I was going to tell Fun Ghoul. It was all my fault that Party Poison was gone. And he would be gone soon, too.


	3. Chapter 3

When I arrived back at base, Ghoul saw me walk in without Poison and he came running downstairs, bawling. I leaned against the wall, sliding down it and he came over to join me. He hugged me tightly but then I saw something click behind the pain in his eyes and he stood up. “Ghoul?” He quickly walked away from me. I followed him quickly as he walked outside, but he was running. And by the time I found him it was too late. Ghoul was lying on the ground, still. _WHAT THE HELL ELSE?!_

***So long to all my friends. Every one of them met tragic ends.***

After that, I managed on my own for a few months. Probably about seven. I was able to do whatever the fuck I wanted. One night I was sitting on the roof of the base, smoking a cigarette, looking up at the stars. “I miss you guys so much.” I whispered up to the sky.

***With every passing day, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I miss them all tonight.***

I thought about when I was younger. The games the five of us would play. The stories we would tell. The songs we would sing.

-x-

“And if they only knew what I would say if I could be with you tonight. I would sing you to sleep. Never let them take the lights behind your eyes. One day I’ll lose this fight. As we fade in the dark. Just remember you will always burn as bright.” I sang as I climbed down from the roof. I walked into the base and grabbed the Trans Am keys and my gun. _My name is Grace Jeanette, Motorbaby. My birthday is August 3 rd. I am nineteen years old today. I am an orphan who was taken in by Dr. Death Defying, Show Pony, Kobra Kid (Mikey Way), Jet Star (Ray Toro), Party Poison (Gerard Way), and Fun Ghoul (Frank Iero). They were the Fabulous Killjoys, _I thought to myself.

I saw a flash of red and sighed, driving down to the beach. Once I got out of the car I saw the flash of red again, but this time it wasn’t just a flash, it was what looked like Gerard’s ghost.

***Be strong and hold my hand. Time—it comes for us, you’ll understand.***

I held out my hand and he grabbed it, smiling at me. But it wasn’t a happy smile. It was really sad and empty. I felt a rush of cold run through my body, tears leaving wet paths as I cry silently.

***We’ll say goodbye today. And I’m sorry how it ends this way.***

_‘If you promise not to cry. Then I’ll tell you just what I would say if I could be with you tonight. I would sing you to sleep. Never let them take the light behind your eyes. I’ll fail and lose this fight. Never fade in the dark, just remember you will always burn as bright.’_ I heard Poison’s voice in the back of my mind singing. I started sobbing, pulling my gun out of the holster and holding it tightly.

***Sometimes we must grow stronger, and you can be stronger when I’m gone.***

“When I’m here no longer, you must be stronger and if I could be with you tonight-” I held up my gun, smiling a little bit. “-I would sing you to sleep. Never let them take the light behind your eyes.” I looked back to where the ghost of Party Poison was standing and he was still there, his eyes red, his face wet, and his bottom lip quivering. He was walking backwards away from me. “Poison. I am so fucking sorry. I failed and lost my fight.”

***I failed and lost this fight. Just remember you will always burn as bright.***

“ _The light behind your eyes.”_ I whispered, holding the gun up to my temple. “ _The light b-behind your eyes.”_ I sighed, letting one more tear fall before pulling the trigger.


End file.
